Autocorrect
by TigerLily888
Summary: Derek lends Emily his cell phone when hers breaks down. Texting between Emily and the team with H/P leaning. Rating for language.


**greengirl82 and I shared a laugh about her uncooperative cellphone and voila, a story was born. Well, two stories actually. If you haven't read greengirl82's fic "Sometimes I Hate Cell Phones" please check it out. It's funny :)**

**I have done something totally new for me, and it's not that great to be honest, but that's all my muse would agree to tonight. And I take absolutely no credit for the autocorrect words as I found these on the website damnyouautocorrect dot com. Check it out, it is absolutely hilarious!**

**The words in italics are phone text messages.  
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**Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, or any of the autocorrect entries. No infringement intended.**

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><p>Emily Prentiss: <em>Hey P, I'm back in business!<em>

Penelope Garcia: _Woo hoo! I don't know how you lived without ur fone for 3 days, I'd die._

Emily Prentiss: _Never thought I'd say this, but lucky D lent me his old iphone. Dunno if that's a good thing though, it's been doing some weird shot. I mean shit. See what I mean?_

Penelope Garcia: _2 funny! How long till ur fone gets repaired?_

Emily Prentiss: _2 long. Friday, so 3 more days. Footage go, just reached Miami P.D._

Penelope Garcia: _Did you mean 'gotta go'? : P Catch u l8r._

* * *

><p>Jennifer Jareau: <em>Hey E, what r u doing?<em>

Emily Prentiss: _Tired, but can't sleep. Playing angry boobs._

Jennifer Jareau: _New game?_

Emily Prentiss: _WTF? Angry birds. D's fone is starting to annoy me. Still wound up after the case._

Jennifer Jareau: _You sure it isn't b/c you're hot n bothered fm hanging out with u-know-who all day._

Emily Prentiss: _What r u talking abt?_

Jennifer Jareau: _Hey, u r the one who said u had the hots for Hotch._

Emily Prentiss: _I was drunk! I didn't know what I was saying!_

Jennifer Jareau: _In vino veritas. In wine there is the truth._

Emily Prentiss: _Who the hell r u? Reid in disguise? I do not have a thong for Hotch._

Jennifer Jareau: _Give him a chance. Who knows, he might have an underwear fetish. LOL._

Emily Prentiss: _Ferret._

_Grrr... _

_Stupid fone._

_I meant thing, obviously._

Jennifer Jareau: _U shd ask him out, he's the perfect guy 4 u._

Emily Prentiss: _A grim faced workaholic who HAPPENS to be my boss is my perfect guy?_

Jennifer Jareau: _He's also an alpha male, which is so ur thing, over achiever, confident but not to the point of arrogance, incredibly intelligent and capable. U r 2 peas in a pod._

Emily Prentiss: _We r too alike, I think._

Jennifer Jareau: _U both think too much, just do it already. The sexual tension is driving the team crazy._

Emily Prentiss: _WTH JJ? Hotch doesn't like me that way._

Jennifer Jareau: _*rolling eyes* If u say so. K, I'm tired, going to sleep now._

Emily Prentiss: _I'll be lucky if I sleep tonight. The pillows are always way too soft at the Homicide Inn._

_Holiday Inn._

Jennifer Jareau: _Hahaha, Homicide Inn so much more appropriate._

Emily Prentiss: _D's engraved his personality on this fone all right. Good night._

Jennifer Jareau: _Good night. Don't forget what I said._

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><p>Derek Morgan: <em>Princess, coming to the bar with us?<em>

Emily Prentiss: _No tnx, too tired. Can't keep my eyes open._

Derek Morgan: _U sure?_

Emily Prentiss: _Could really do with a stiff dick, but can't be bothered 2nite._

Derek Morgan: _Pretty sure where we're going doesn't serve stiff dicks, but maybe if you tried some of the customers...ROFLMAO_

Emily Prentiss: _Stiff drink. Ur fone is a pervert._

_U dolphin_

_I mean Polecat_

_Big jerk*_

_Come to think of it, a stiff dick would be way better than a stiff drink. Oh yeah..._

Derek Morgan: _TMI. Going now._

Emily Prentiss: _Heading to bed for anal._

Derek Morgan: _WTF!_

Emily Prentiss: _Sorry, busy putting key in door, didn't look. I meant a nap. Didn't know you were into anal._

Derek Morgan: _I AM NOT!_

Emily Prentiss: _Nothing to be ashamed abt. U know autocorrect only suggests words you use often._

Derek Morgan: _Hanging up now._

* * *

><p>David Rossi: <em>Em? U joining us for dinner?<em>

Emily Prentiss: _Tnx, but I've got carbonara, white wine and Notting Hill ready to go. Hotch going?_

David Rossi: _Why do u wanna know?_

Emily Prentiss: _Just curious._

David Rossi: _Hello, profiler with 20 plus years of experience. Although even Reid can see you've got the hots for Hotch._

Emily Prentiss: _Will u all stop it with the whole Hotch thing!_

David Rossi: _Just ask him out._

Emily Prentiss: _No freaking way. If he says no I'll have to transfer to another unit. Or take a permanent vagina._

_BLOODY fone! Vacation._

David Rossi: _Interesting._

Emily Prentiss: _Hanging up now. _

* * *

><p>Aaron Hotchner: <em>Emily, I need to discuss an issue for that paper I'm writing on hostage situations. Can I come over? It shouldn't take long.<em>

Emily Prentiss: _Sure. You want to discuss strategies for the erection?_

_CRAP! Sorry, I swear I typed extraction. New fone._

Aaron Hotchner: _I see. Be there in 5._

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><p>Penelope Garcia: <em>I hear the man you have a massive crush on is on the way. Maybe you can discuss the case then jump his sexy bones.<em>

Emily Prentiss: _I may have the biggest crush on him but I am NOT going to jump Hotch's bones. Tempting though it is. There, happy now? I've finally admitted it._

Penelope Garcia: _Em? R u there? Did you get my text?_

* * *

><p>OMFG. Emily's eyes bugged out when she saw the last text. What happened? Who did she send the last text to? Before she could check, she heard a knock on the door.<p>

She walked up and opened it. Hotch stood looking at her, expression unfathomable. He was silent for so long that she was quietly starting to freak out. Surely she didnt... "Hotch?"

"You have a crush on me?" His voice was calm, his gaze unperturbed.

Yep, she did send the text to him. The object of her crush. Emily stared at him open mouthed, mind whirling. Oh God, this was it, the end of her professional relationship and possibly her career. "I...I...Hotch, that text wasn't meant for you."

"I think that's a given. Unless you really wanted me to know you were tempted to jump my bones." He paused. "Are you tempted?" His eyes pierced hers with laserlike intensity.

"I...I don't..." She couldn't remember ever stammering in her life. Even when she was learning a foreign language. She would pause, yes, but never stammer.

"It's all right Emily, just tell me." His voice was gentle.

She hesitated for only a moment. "Yes." She knew that one word would seal her fate. What she didn't expect was the sudden flare of heat in his eyes. Or that in the next second his lips would be on hers. Her last rational thought was that she hoped Garcia wouldn't panic and send Morgan to break down her door. That would be hell awkward.

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><p>One week later...<p>

Emily Prentiss: _I'm horny and I need a special finger._

Aaron Hotchner: _Umm...do you mean you are hungry and you need a special dinner?_

Emily Prentiss: _No silly, I have my old fone back. I really am horny and I need YOUR special finger. So hurry up and come over._

Aaron Hotchner: _Here I was worried that I'd miss Morgan's phone. Do I have time for a cum?_

_Run, I meant run._

_Wait a minute, I have never used that word before. Why did it come up?_

Emily Prentiss: _Tell you later._

_And baby?_

_Save your cum for when you get here ;P_

**I hope you got a couple of laughs out of this, silly though it was. **_  
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